Monday, September 8, 2014

Respecting myself

I don't normally talk about stuff like this within my business, ever. I have thought long and hard about this and when I say long and hard I am talking weeks, months. And the more I think about it and the more that goes on the more I say I respect my name and myself as a human being way more than allowing this to go on. I have every right to defend my name. I am talking in general here about the whole picture. 

There has been a lot going on this past year and I have continued to not say anything, hoping it would just go away and better itself. But it has not. If I don't defend my name how can I say I respect myself. I have a voice and deserve for it to be heard. 

I will not name any names, because thats not my character and I will not tell anyone further than this blog post what is going on. People that know, will know. It may not make sense to some.  Please don't ask me what is going on. I'd rather not talk about it. But I will defend my name. This is the last time I will talk about this. I am moving on from this. But I wouldn't have felt I respected myself if I didn't stand up for myself with all that is going on. Thank you!

There has been lots of chatter stating I was the person behind a very nasty blog that was made to bash photographers. I will simply say, no it was not me. I do not know who it was. And at this point don't want to. I want to forget about it all. I would NEVER have it in my heart to create a bashing blog, page or whatever. I could never forgive myself. I had never even heard of some of the names that were brought up on that blog until after it happened. I respect myself way more than to hurt people purposely like that. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. IT WAS NOT ME. 

A photographer I highly looked up to and respected was told I said this person was bullying me. Again, I will simply say, no I did not say anything of the sorts. I never even talked about this photographer to anyone. Other than my friend and it was always good words, talking highly of this person. I was upset over a situation but NEVER said anything of the sorts that this person was bullying me. Always spoke very highly of this person. This person wasn't bullying me, so why would I say that. 

I am sure there is a lot more going on that I don't even know of.
I have way more respect for people than to cause problems just because. I have 4 kids and would never raise them to be like that. I raise them to have the highest amount of respect possible. I was also raised that way. If I ever disrespected people I would have eaten soap. Yep, thats how we did it back in the day. 

I am not in this industry to cause problems or to have problems with anyone. I am here doing what I love. I am very passionate about photography. I would never ever jeopardize that by acting poorly, EVER! I am trying to make a name for myself, not make enemies. I like to have friends. I am a lover not a fighter. I am a very good person and am 100% confident in myself to say that. I know I am thats why this bothers me so much. Am I perfect? NO. But would never intentionally hurt people or try to drag them down by trashing their name. 

I am always telling my kids. Don't lie, if you did something it is ok. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. But please tell the truth and apologize. I raise my kids this way because I am this way myself. If I make mistakes or cause hurt to anyone. I apologize. But again, I would never intentionally just hurt people and talk trash about them on a public blog. I would hate myself for it. 

I want so badly for this all to end. I wouldn't do anything to cause it lasting longer. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize ANY friendships that I had and I certainly wouldn't make up lies saying someone bullied me. Bullying is serious I wouldn't lie about that. My son was bullied in school and saw what he went through. I just don't bully people. I have worked very hard to get where I am at in this business and want to continue to work harder. I wouldn't do anything to hurt that. Anyone that has taken the time to get to know me. KNOWS me. And knows I would never do anything like this. People that know me in person, knows I wouldn't hurt a fly. I am always one to give a helping hand, no matter what is going on. I thank all of you who have taken the time to get to know me. It means a lot. This has been a huge struggle for me thinking about all of this and trying to decide what to do about it. I did not want to have to post about it. This whole situation makes me sick to my stomach. But again. I wouldn't have felt ok ever if I just allowed it to go on without trying to defend my name. I know who I am and I know my character. I am a good person. This saddens me, a lot.

Take the time to get to know people, don't just listen to things you hear. Just because it is on the internet or because someone said it. Doesn't make it true. Get to know someones character on your own time. And just because two people don't jive, doesn't mean these people are bad people. I am a very nice, easy going, loving, kind person just doing what I love. I alway's want to help people and make people feel better. Thats the kind of person I am. People tell me I am too nice. I got in the middle of some very nasty stuff and if I ever knew it would go this far I would have stayed far away from it. But I was trying to help, because that's who I am. I regret it daily. There is a ton of stuff going on that isn't making sense but hating everyone and continuing on is not the way to go.

Last but not least. Sorry to anyone if I ever have hurt you in any way. I never intend to hurt anyone. I want to move on with my life and this was necessary to do so. Sorry I had to post about this. I absolutely HATE bringing this into my business. But didn't know what else to do about it. My name means a lot to me and my passion does as well. I can't just sit back and watch this happen to my name anymore. Will I ever get everyone to believe me? no! And I am ok with that. People don't have to like me. I am more and more ok with that. Does it bother me? Heck yes. But what can I do. I just continue being me. But I at least feel better now that I got this out and stood by my name. I am sorry if you have no idea what I am talking about. Again, I will not talk about this further than this post. Thank you for understanding.

Also, I only have ONE Amber Carbo Privizzini page. The main one that I use daily. It has been pointed out there there is or was more. They are not mine. I have my main page and a page I had to make when my images were getting reported and I got blocked from my own business page for 24 hours. I had to make a page so I could post. But I don't use that page. I have not even signed into it since I got unblocked a long time ago.

We are all in this industry because we love photography. We all need to start sticking together not sticking it to one another. Support each other and lift each other up don't push each other down.

Please I am begging for this to stop. I don't know who it is but asking for it to end. For my kids, please stop. Its hurting them because it is hurting me. I am not looking for attention. Or oh Amber don't be hurt you are this and that. I am just down right begging for this to stop.

and because a blog post is just not a blog post without an image...

I will leave you with a happy picture!!!!!

Again so sorry I had to post this. It isn't a very happy post But it had to be said. Until next time, XOXO ~Amber